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    December 31, 2013

    2013 IN REVIEW: TOP TEN WORST MOVIES OF THE YEAR

    [BRIEFLY]: 2013 is yet another hectic year in the film industry. Like every year on the record books, there are a handful of award-winning features and there are also those which are served to entertain, nothing more. But there also a bunch of stink-movies which are unfortunately, been made to be trashed. Continuing the tradition of ushering into a brand new year in two days time, I have compiled several movie lists that will be featured over several blog posts. This is part one out of three that you are reading here.

    TOP 10 WORST MOVIES OF THE YEAR


    In the first part of my review on movies of 2013, I am going to take you to explore, to jeer or to laugh at these "award-winning" movies because they have managed to position themselves into the year's top list of movie stinkers. Without further ado, I am happy to present to you the 5th Annual Green Tea Movie Top Ten Worst Reviewed Movie of the Year.

    MECHANICS OF RANKING:
    1. Unlike other top lists, I used "Quantification" method to rank the movies.
    2. The final ranking of a particular movie in the list is partially based on the signature score of Green-Tea-O-Meter which is usually given at the end of every movie review that I have done. The determination of Green-Tea-O-Meter is based on four criteria - Story (Screenplay & Direction); Casts (Acting); Cinematography (Camera work & Scores); Effects (Visual & Sound). Check out this page to learn more.
    3. Other score that is also included in determining the ranking is Preferential points (tie-breaker in events of having same score). Points are awarded from 0.01 to 10.00; which are based on the award-worthy, e-values and so on.
    4. Both scores are summed and converted into percentage values which will be used to determine the final ranking
    5. Please note that the ranking is purely based on my opinions.
    6. Only movies that I watched from 1 January 2013 till 31 December 2013 are included into the list.

    THE LIST:

    10. THE LAST EXORCISM: PART II (OVERALL SCORE: 23.85%)


    The sequel to the found-footage horror "The Last Exorcism" is shabby and does not lift up to the status of the original. The first movie obtained 73% on Rotten Tomatoes but the sequel only have 17%. The decline in rating is pretty simple - it does not retain the style and format of the first one, predictable and fails to excite any interest or freshness. While many horror films tend to be that way, this movie managed to land on the number 10 spot for year.
    Review: Not reviewed in this blog


    9. PARANOIA (OVERALL SCORE: 23.50%)


    This technological thriller, about the hunger of a young blood trying to topple his superior, seems far-fetched interesting. Not until you realized that it is practically boring, way too cliched, uninteresting and complete absence of thrills. So having Harrison Ford, Liam Hemsworth, Gary Oldman and Amber Heard in this movie are complete waste of time.
    Review: Not reviewed in this blog


    8. BULLET TO THE HEAD (OVERALL SCORE: 21.35%)


    Just like the movie at no.9, this is blandly made, boring, over-styled for nothing and uninteresting. Walter Hill as the director and Sylvester Stallone as the main lead completely miss the mark. This is a torturing 90 minutes movie that is not even a fraction of fun that I have seen in Stallone's best buddy - Arnie in "The Last Stand". This movie may work fine in 80s but we are 30 years ahead.
    Review: Not reviewed in this blog


    7. VIKINGDOM: THE RED ECLIPSE (OVERALL SCORE: 20.22%)


    One of two Malaysian-made movies to land itself on the worst list, KRU Studio produces another "shit" for you to watch. Let's set aside those patriotism for a moment and be realistic here. Is the CGIs watchable? Is the story makes any sense? Is the movie's bland action makes you want to cry? I am not sure who is the better director now? Yusry A. Halim? Or Uwe Boll? The depiction of the Viking story seems a little off and the movie has plenty of cheesy and bad moments. I'm no expert but since when Thor is a villain? Well, at least Variety gives a better review for the "shock-sendiri" fans to enjoy.
    Review: Check out the review here


    6. MACHETE KILLS (OVERALL SCORE: 16.56%)


    This franchise has turned into a joke. Only few years back when the first Machete film, starring Danny Trejo and directed by Robert Rodriguez, was a fine example of how some B-film can be entertaining and stylish. The second trip turns out to be quite tedious with overload plot twist that is confusing, styles that overkills as well as having too much chessy and corny scenes into one movie.
    Review: Not reviewed in this blog


    5. SWITCH (OVERALL SCORE: 14.89%)


    Definitely looks like one of the worst Chinese-language movie I have ever watch. The only good plus is its cinematography. The rest pretty much goes down to the drain. It has poor script, terrible second and third acts, as well as unconvincing fighting scene. It's a shame, because Vikingdom ranks better than this one.
    Review: Not reviewed in this blog


    4. KARA KING (OVERALL SCORE: 14.59%)



    I have no comment at all. Certainly one of the worst of the year but it is still (I have to admit) better than last year's trash "Hantu Gangster". Can someone tells Namewee to do a better quality movie for once?
    Review: Not reviewed in this blog


    3. THE HOST (OVERALL SCORE: 14.39%)



    The amazing landscape of a remote desert that serves the background of the movie is not enough to save this movie from been disastrous. "The Host" is an over-dramatic romance thriller that fires empty rounds of ineffective love story, non-engaging science fiction element and characters we do not care for. As if Twilight is bad, this is worse. I pity Stephenie Meyer, this "The Host" is million times better than any of the "Twilight Saga", but.....
    Review: Check out the review here


    2. SCARY MOVIE 5 (OVERALL SCORE: 7.17%)


    I see this coming. It is the day when the franchise finally goes down the gutter for the same reasons it is good in those years. It is funny but it feels forceful. Probably the pop culture gag in the recent years are paler than those in the past. That Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan cameo, even if it is acceptable, it still did not save the movie. And the rest of the movie is basically about jokes that are way too juvenile to handle. I will nominate this and the other one on the top spot (next entree) for Razzies.


    Review: Not reviewed in this blog


    1. MOVIE 43 (OVERALL SCORE: 5.85%)


    Big casting. Big story. Too tedious, but that's okay. Too complicated, but it's good to see everyone icluding Kate Winslet, Hugh Jackman, Emma Stone, Naomi Watts, Justin Long, Uma Thurman, Halle Barry, Kristen Bell, Elizabeth Banks, Gerard Butler, Richard Gere,...... But the story is basically crap, lame and not thought provoking as I first thought. It tries to evoke your vulgarity but it just jerk-off all over the place. It barely hilarious and I'm not sure if I was laughing at the jokes or simply laughing at this movie. Surely a big winner in Razzies?

    Review: Not reviewed in this blog


    THE OTHERS:

    Those are the top ten worst movies of the year. Perhaps, there are also worthy mentioned in the list that I did not include in the list and other movies that are so bad and I did not watch them. Here are the other worse movies of the year, occupying the spots just outside of the top ten:

    • The Big Wedding
    • R.I.P.D.
    • Dark Skies
    • The Purge
    • Conspirators
    • Getaway (the only movie in this part of the list I didn't watch)
    • Grown Ups 2
    • Identity Thief
    • The Heat
    • The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
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