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    December 30, 2011

    TOP 10 WORST REVIEWED MOVIES OF THE YEAR

    Do you feel the beats for 2012 yet? Surprisingly I don't because of this stupid exams coming in next week. Even with the exams coming I still manage to steal some time to scribble you this.

    2011 has been a rather under-performing year as we lack the excitement of Inception; the funky-teasing The Social Network and the heart-warming Toy Story 3. Nevertheless, 2011 also serves as a year when many films perform better than the early expectation. Unfortunately, as always, not all strike the gold. Continuing the tradition of ushering into a new year, Green Tea Movie presents to you the list of worst-reviewed movies of the year. Strictly embedded within the rating scheme, here are the top ten movies Green Tea Movie wishes to debunk.

    *NOTE: (1) The list is highly-based on Green Tea Movie's opinion and does not reflect external or general consensus. (2) To avoid biased reviews, I have omitted Chinese and local movies, as well as movies released last year. Prime example would be The Tourist which I watched on 1 January 2011. (3) The list covers movies watched from 31 December 2010 till 30 December 2011.


    (10) PRIEST


    SONY PICTURES - Action/Horror
    NOTE: From its first look on trailer, it feels bad. Despite having some notch of ass-kicking, the plot is so demeaning that it falls apart. While it retains a unique elements for the back story, it fails to grasp the attention of the audience with its uninspiring piece of action adventure. The pace is uneven and Paul Bettany get screwed once again! I wish that guy could have taken a better script to go along with his resume. For Scott Stewart, it's two NO put of two.

    GREEN-TEA-O-METER: 9.9/20.0
    REVIEW: http://greenteamovie.blogspot.com/2011/05/movie-review-priest.html
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    (09) HOP


    UNIVERSAL PICTURES - Animation/Comedy
    NOTE: First 15 minutes, not bad. Unfortunately, the realization grows from secondary to utter disappointing. It chooses a cross-over between Santa and Willy Wonka, a path that ultimately leads to destruction. Hop is an annoying movie that have talking animal trying to change the perception and life of a human being by turning in with a havoc of uninspiring, misdirection and confusing itself by creating non-workable mythology. Even Russell Brand in the bunny suit agrees at time, by pooping the candy-crap out of himself.

    GREEN-TEA-O-METER: 9.7/20.0
    REVIEW: http://greenteamovie.blogspot.com/2011/04/movie-review-hop.html
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    (08) JACK AND JILL


    SONY PICTURES - Family/Comedy
    NOTE: Adam Sandler been an Adam Sandler as always. The failure of this movie, is the practical failure to connect the holiday mood with an outrageously funny-but-also annoying and dumb-f**ked-stupid toilet humors that propel the movie. Drag is not probably the best disguise as Sherlock Holmes suggested but Jack and Jill takes thing way out of proportion. I wish to throw some pop-corn while get my mind-f**ked! Nevertheless, high entertainment values do suggest that it is the year's biggest guilty pleasure!

    GREEN-TEA-O-METER: 9.0/20.0
    REVIEW: Not available, busy ma.....duh!!!!!
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    (07) MARS NEEDS MOM


    SONY PICTURES - Family/Comedy
    NOTE: Better than Battle of Terra but more unbearable than any of other Robert Zemeckis-related works. The extra-terrestrial animation lacks of human touch and it portrays our heroes Milo, Gribble and Ki as someone who takes things for granted and decided to save the world for one day, forcefully! It's not funny yet terribly scripted to children to watch. No wonder your studio went defunct because of this movie, Zemeckis!

    GREEN-TEA-O-METER: 9.0/20.0
    REVIEW: http://greenteamovie.blogspot.com/2011/04/movie-review-in-brief-unknown-eagle-and.html
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    (06) YOGI BEAR


    WARNER BROS. - Family/Animation
    NOTE: "Yogi Bear and Boo Boo are naturally hilarious character meant for kids"; the statement is true since 1970s but deemed void after the movie comes out. After that particular rubbish movie is out, the statement changes to "Yogi Bear and Boo Boo are synthetically insulting and annoyingly dull plot that doesn't go along well". It is just another attempt to look like, sound like and annoying like - Alvin and the Chipmunks.

    GREEN-TEA-O-METER: 8.8/20.0
    REVIEW: http://greenteamovie.blogspot.com/2011/02/movie-review-mr-and-mrs-incredible-yogi.html
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    (05) THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 1


    SUMMIT ENTERTAINMENT - Fantasy/Romance
    NOTE: Not the worst in the series but a close second worst! Oh, tell me which Twilight series is good? None? This one follows the exact typical set-up of the previous franchise installments. Unfortunately, it also takes thing spirally down from the franchise best (still ROTTEN) Eclipse by making this desperate romance a bad vacation. The plot is relatively empty, undeveloped and the wedding is a mess and miss at the same time. Jacob still sucks and Edward still pawns him by owning Bella! It's practically boring!! I am looking forward for Part 2 so I can continue insult this franchise.

    GREEN-TEA-O-METER: 8.4/20.0
    REVIEW: Not available, busy ma.....duh!!!!!
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    (04) ZOOKEEPER


    SONY PICTURES - Comedy/Family
    NOTE: It's campy, it's lazy and it's boring. It is bizarre to have this kind of feeling when a comedy meant for family turns out to be nothing more than a pile of junks. 'Zookeeper' puts an exactly much needed that extra point on why movies with annoying talking animals should never been made. The high concept behind this movie that supposedly mimics 'Night at the Museum' has failed to charm. Come on, Hollywood - this is a pure shit piling up, so please don't do this kind of movie anymore.

    GREEN-TEA-O-METER: 7.3/20.0
    REVIEW: http://greenteamovie.blogspot.com/2011/09/movie-review-under-radar-part-3-2011.html
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    (03) SHARK NIGHT 3D


    ROGUE PICTURES - Horror/Thriller
    NOTE: What's Piranha but larger in size? Shark of course. Shark Night 3D has the worst 3D EVER! Not only it fails to match the good-jolly-disgusting-scare of Piranha 3D, it is less provocative and thought-challenging. For that, I rest my case.

    GREEN-TEA-O-METER: 7.3/20.0
    REVIEW: Not available, busy ma.....duh!!!!!
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    (02) APOLLO 18


    DIMENSION FILMS - Horror/Thriller
    NOTE:
    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA............ Attempting to be the next Paranormal Activity? YOU FAILED!!!!!!
    That's it!!

    GREEN-TEA-O-METER: 6.8/20.0
    REVIEW: Not available, busy ma.....duh!!!!!
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    (01) SPY KIDS: ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD


    DIMENSION FILMS - Horror/Thriller
    NOTE:
    Dimension Films occupied the top two spots. CONGRATZ!!!
    Last year's champ Furry Vengenace still sit prettily there as the worst of Green Tea Movie's all time list but for the year 2011, the fourth Spy Kids movie proved to be the biggest tud by offering one of the most destructive movie experience I have ever had. Not only it sucks, it also acts as a bigot and mockery as well as an insulting for the next movie dimension - the fourth D I supposed. Well, it smells shit after all.

    GREEN-TEA-O-METER: 6.8/20.0
    REVIEW: Not available, busy ma.....duh!!!!!


    Check out for our more pleasing Top 30 beginning January 1.
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